© Copyright 2025, Charles Edward Blackwell III

SoulTouchHealing.com       2025      First Edition. Rev 3

Thank you for your support, everyone.

I would like to especially mention my wife Meredith, who supported the idea of sharing these poems and has tolerated my efforts at editing.

Also, to my son Charles IV who was the inspiration for some of these poems and has grown into a remarkable young man.

To my granddaughters Elizabeth and Scarlett who will hopefully read and maybe understand this work someday.

ISBN: 979-8-9988469-2-2   e-book

             979-8-9988469-4-6   Hardcover

God’s Gift

I stood before the moon and called your name:

God's gift, beauty thing

And the night fog closed in

Heavy it breathed and the moon hung there

a pearl now, alabaster, thin veined and blue beneath thick areola.

The womb world opened to welcome young love lost, us perfected.

Waiting to be reborn beneath soft silk baby's hair

and warm enfolding closeness.

A welcoming tongue’s cross, push, caress, taste of teeth and lips

and lids of bluest morning eyes that love

and hold and speak hush whispered breath raw and tight.

 Arms and fingers that hold, squeeze, scratch into me,

 into you, breath leaves hot sweat and thighs

 pull in sweet release and ecstasy

 Tossed hair and eyes that look, me, and hold, me

 and thank

Your Face

Your face: neither beautiful nor ugly,

but right, too right, to me.

Your eyes a strong secret hidden to be held,

deepening blue tenders, fragile

sadness amid lighter frames, support of bone.

To dream of hair too fine,

to feel it lay against my throat at night,

a long night.

Emotions pure and light as your flesh.

These things my hated friend at night, alone.

You do not know your secret.

The story of bones close to surface,

where you say yes, and no with voice uncertain,

eyes forcing no more questions,

beneath brow that has said your answer,

has told your story

and waits for you to live it.

My Eyes

My eyes, you say, they hold you

Whisper, whisper dreams, saying it softly

Small fingers flowing through my hair

And touching me please, on the brow, cheek, lips

Fingers soft, words soft, breath soft to caressing

Feeling scent, knowing the alive fresh and

The pulling stroking gentle ease from hiding

Of the scared parts of me.

Wanting now, only wanting, in eyes

Ready to tear as soft gentles welcome and

Once alone am now there with, and you touch me

Running waters of sorrow, of welcome and thanks

Salt fresh and tongue stale of lips alive and

You to hold me.

The hand on neck, on chest,

The mouth-loving shape of caressing hellos

And I want yous, and the need

Need for even a me as your arms move from

Shoulders to hold, come closer, to be with me

Now you want and let my eyes close

To yours closed with warm softs of scent

Tastes of texture warm with tights of breathing

Your breathing next to me, alive

Warming me as holding

It could come as images

It could come as images

flashes of feeling that lead me to turn,

looking for you. Maybe I'm driving

and remember with a suddenness

that pulls my breath tight.

The whisper of what once was a sob,

and I know that I’ m not driving to you.

I hold her. Her hand in mine is smaller,

I squeeze lightly to be sure.

Sometimes I kiss her and my eyes,

They open again just to be sure that it is not you.

Though her lips taste smaller

and teeth feel tighter, more her.

Sometimes I breathe her scent,

remembering something new, not mine.

There are these times when I make,

I must make new paths through memory.

When I still feel you close to me

and must block the push of emotions,

The promises, futures, the love talk.

The only way I have, to stop now,

is by the losing of you and

the replacement with this thing,

this betraying monster who lied,

and hurt herself and me, and our family,

our futures, our pasts.

All paths get blocked eventually.

The new kissing remembrances are

led through other parts,

the feel of holding gets routed through new.

She's no less for not being five years my partner.

Carefully her voice is laid in the new,

Her feel in the fresh.

 I start to build the enclosing of the past,

 And carefully begin an impossible.

When you really love

When you really love someone.

When it's cold you let them climb naked

beneath the blankets

to settle against your warmth and flannels.

You kiss their ears wet from the shower,

let their hair lay cold on your shoulder,

feel their goose-pimpled legs against your thighs

take their icy feet between yours, toast them,

let your arms be pulled around them like extra blankets,

 feel cold nipples as the lungs lift and lower the chest,

feel the shiver and be surprised when they turn to kiss you with tight cold lips,

just how hot

their tongue is.

I have replaced you

I have replaced you, my love, with another.

Her hair is not so soft and her skin not as accepting of my touch.

But her eyes can hold mine nearly as yours.

Her breath is unfelt against me as I sleep

but I know, secure, that she is there.

This love is not as strong as our first love.

This love can still make me cry,

at night, alone, without her.

She is not as beautiful except in a dark perfect way.

I use her love as I would not use yours,

to fill the empty hollows where love should be.

Filling me, she cushions the broken parts

so, they do not rattle as I walk, alone.

This love is better than no love at all.

Barely

I look in a mirror

I look in the mirror and stare surprised

to find, not you, but myself there.

Who have I been talking to?

I cannot hide from you,

always in my thoughts.

My leg, your arm, a dream,

whose dream, whose body.

In your dream I kill me.

Why would I hurt him?

What did he do?

Do I fear the pain of

confronting a mistake.

Scape goat, lily worm,

roach motel of curses.

I will live in you and kill him.

I used to believe

I used to believe your eyes when you said you loved me.

I used to cry when you said we would be

together, forever, in love.

I used to laugh and hold your hand.

I used to sleep with you in my arms.

And I used to dream of you and me.

I used to believe.

Lies

Your skin is so soft

But it's not, it's grainy.

It’s been tanned too many times,

your cheek has fuzz like your belly.

Your eyes, such eyes, I can look into them forever.

Maybe for a long time anyway

Because then I'm sure you're looking at me.

I know it's me when you sigh

I'm not trying to seduce you

Believe me, it’s okay

I don't think I love you

But will you smile if I do?

can I stay the night or week,

will you love me?

I like your laugh,

It’s so authentic

or real, anyway,

when you look at me.

Your lips, so tasty, yum

that makes it easy to kiss you,

 so easy, so warm, so wet, enfolding.

I love the way you hum and purr,

and pant, when I kiss your neck

lick your ears, trace your shoulder

and chest, first button, second.

Your hair doesn't bother me.

It's dry. Well, like hair in my mouth.

Better when it's salty with sweat

I like it when you run your fingers through my hair

warm flowing expression of relaxing caress

till I'm trapped where you like me to be.

I found you

I found you without believing it

maybe without you ever believing it.

But I found you in the emptiness

before we forgot we made each other whole.

When I'm scared, really scared, or alone

your voice gentles me. When I took your hand

and gave you mine, they fit together perfect

a miracle. Maybe, just maybe

what we laughed about once

when young, the circles, following ourselves

leading to each other, the circles

Circles round again and we laughed.

Your eyes took mine then

and we let them go free

and they held to each other.

Circles. Even now, if you let it,

quieted the voices in your head,

the thought of hurt or right.

Your eyes would circle to mine,

compasses knowing what we fear most.

There was

There was what?

Let’s say five months

And we talked

Often, maybe more

Than just often

On a phone whose

Warm plastic feel

Couldn’t replace you

Soft, tickling, whispers

Your hair to fall

Across my face

Hand on my arm

Leaning, there was always

Leaning between us

Couldn’t walk into a room

And resist the urging

The not-so-subtle tugs

That pull me to you

I could lay down

With your voice

Pillows, blankets, and sleep

It gave me a purring

Offer my throat for

The soft stroking

Of your voice

Your legs to intertwine with mine

I could slide my head

Under your chin

And now?

There is the phone

To hold in plastic the

Memory of your voice

There are dreams

The wonderful aching

Of a need to feel you

Close and closer

You are warm and

Put your arms around me

Putting mine around you

The distance to fall

Following your eyes

Reaching towards you

With the feeling

I wake with the feeling

Of her hand

Under mine

On the pillow

Feeling her fingers

Stroke hair behind my ears

Touching me solely because

It’s the feel of me

She loves and hums

The taste of my teeth

She hungers for

My weight to bear

Her down as requested

Loves to be held

Fresh showered skin

Touching and heat mingling

We stick and she slides

You look

God, you look beautiful, your shape is yum

flesh on flesh like this I could hold you

just watching you purr and scratch finely

I’m glad I can make you smile

and Oh God, bite your lip

and roll like animals with me

But's it's your eyes that lock me

keep me when they see me

It was great, of course I enjoyed it

But did you

               now that we lie sweat stuck and panting

did you? Did you really

It's fine if you just want to lie

here curled against me

nesting into my arm you hold

a new teddy bear who feels your heart

as it slows, and quiets

We can lie here of course

I can watch you sleep

your hair in my mouth

some parts sore